How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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