Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
