How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize