If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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