You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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