his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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