I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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