woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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