Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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