brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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