You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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