Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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