she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
