that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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