we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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