Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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