I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize