I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
