i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
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there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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