I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
