I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We have started to decorate penises.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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