I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
