I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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