out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize