It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
