Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
