just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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