she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
