I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I think i got beer on your cat.
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