I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
