whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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