Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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