You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
