Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize