Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
