Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
