Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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