but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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