oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize