How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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