I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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