if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He did a backflip because drugs
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
