he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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