I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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