My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
