so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
