Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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