just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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