dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
