Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
