my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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