No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
