i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
