i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
