if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize