So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
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nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
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I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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