i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
