so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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