I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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