Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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