Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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