wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Randomize
