bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize