you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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